Failure is in all of us so Let's be Real About It

Lincoln...he's flawed...shows weakness...shows humanity

Abraham Lincoln ranks as our greatest president according to C-SPAN's perennial evaluation by 90 historians who use 10 criteria (https://www.c-span.org/thePresidents). Yet, Elizabeth Brown, in her highly respected and thoroughly researched book "Six Encounters With Lincoln" (https://amzn.to/2YDMnxK) explains that something compelled Lincoln to shrink from exercising crisp authority from time to time, and his erratic leadership sometimes led directly to battlefield losses. He's flawed...shows weakness...shows humanity. As mythical a character as he is, firsthand testimony attests to the "...hazard of [Lincoln's] good nature... the fallibility of a man irresolute but of kind intentions."

So, the greatest president is flawed. Turns out that the C-SPAN historian cadre identified weaknesses in every one of the 43 presidents (did you know that Washington was a poor military strategist?). Like most educational leaders I’ve met, I strive for perfection... all the time. I also know I harbor plenty of “grows;” I’d go so far as to state that I have more flaws than strengths. Why is it then that the professionals around me fall out of my favor when I realize their weaknesses? I don’t react this way to my family’s foibles. I realized my wife isn’t perfect after the initial rush of love, and I came to accept her imperfections (just as she has accepted mine) because I realized that relationships lean on compromise to thrive. Shouldn’t this “rule” of relationships apply to our professional connections as well?

A leader is responsible for promoting positive culture

My learning curve is steep, which accounts for the time it took me to come to this realization. There's little doubt that continuity of leadership is requisite to institutionalizing change. You're responsible for promoting positive culture, you work with your team to cultivate that culture, and now you have to depend upon that team to continue fostering the culture.

I’m not pronouncing anything new when I point out that continuty of leadership at all levels (supervisor, principal, etc.) is integral to realizing culture change goals. The continuty will come if those with whom we’ve surrounded ourselves give us high yield even if they’re not perfect (and nobody’s perfect). How about we all give each other a break and roll with the downsides?

Middle Schooler for a Day- Lessons Learned Walking in the Shoes of a Sixth Grader

What's it like to be a middle-schooler? There is no better way than to spend a day in the shoes of such an adolescent, which is what I did last week. From social studies to science to math to lunch to Spanish I went. Here is what I learned!

1. It's hard to switch gears from one subject to another within minutes of each other. I moved from social studies to science and to math in the span of two hours and fifteen minutes. It’s not easy being an adolescent having to focus on completely different subjects in such a short period of time!

2. Certain instructional best practices are so important. I was told to complete a do now activity in one class and really wanted to know why were doing it. The objective for the class was written on the board, but I only knew it because I looked around the room for the statement. Understanding a teacher’s objective for why I should be doing certain things is so important.

I really appreciate when a teacher doesn’t just give me the answer to something with which I have a problem. It’s more helpful when he/she asks me questions about my thinking, guides me to the answer, and then shares her feedback about what I said.

3. For the most part, kids seem really nice to each other. We hear so many difficult stories about fights and negative interactions among students. It was nice to see the sixth graders in my classes treating each other respectfully and helpfully. 

4. I need to find a way to put the Rutgers tutoring program back in the budget. My math class was wonderfully flexible and differentiated. My student table-mates were really helpful answering my questions, but they got stuck on a few of my problems. The teacher was great, but she had a lot of students in the class and had to help someone else when I needed help.

5. We know this already, but I must reiterate- a teacher’s personality can make or break the lesson! I really enjoyed the classes in which the teachers were jovial, warm, etc. It made such a difference to my experience!

6. The lunch food really isn’t all that bad!

Cash in the Security Guards and Invest in What will Really Prevent School Violence

A lot of kids are coming to school angry, and I’m convinced this is the source of much of the violence we’re witnessing. Children seem disconnected to their school community, and now is the time for educators to recommit efforts to fostering a culture that ties the binds kids have with the adults who care for them 10 months of the calendar year. Let’s use a multi-prong approach to rebuilding the bridge between students and their schools by doing three things.

First, let’s shift away from a punitive discipline mindset and more towards a restorative practices approach to fostering a stronger sense of belonging. We should face the truth- Kids aren’t “scared” of being punished by disciplinarians as was the case in the old days. They need behavioral and mental health support, and they need the tools to make better social and emotional decisions. Reach out to organizations like Morningside Center for Teaching Social Responsibility (morningsidecenter.org) and The International Institute for Restorative Practices (iirp.edu) to build togetherness and to restore kids to their school community who would otherwise have been shut out and isolated after serving suspension time. It’ll take three years, but if the research-proven payoff comes to fruition, the school will evolve to become closer-knit.

Second, lets help kids feel more confident about themselves, strengthen their interpersonal skills, and encourage them to have strong and healthy relationships with their peers. Build a Responsive Classroom environment in the elementary grades (responsiveclassroom.org), and pair it with a Social-Emotional Decision-Making Lab (tinyurl.com/yb4txdge) so kids learn how to relate to each other on deeply personal levels in the age of social media. Launch Sources of Strength (sourcesofstrength.org) in the upper grades so disenfranchised adolescents assume meaningful ownership of providing support for their peers who are contemplating self-harm.

Third, enhance school adults’ awareness and attitude about the different cultural traits kids bring to school. Understanding hidden biases, recognizing how we may inadvertently “microaggress” and identifying the influence of dominant “narratives” that may suppress kids’ identity are vital learnings in which we must continue to engage if we are to truly wrap our arms around all of our students so they feel a sense of belonging to the school community.

An all-in attitude to safeguarding kids has as much to do with deepening their connectedness to their school as does staffing buildings with security guards. Being a parent during this time is very difficult, and it is incumbent upon educational leaders to send the clear the message that they are welcoming kids 1,260 hours a year to a nurturing, supportive, and empathetic environment.

It's Okay to let Your Opinion Develop

Hard as it may be for many of us to accept, it's a reality that some opinions take time to change. We shouldn't' let insecurity creep in when we alter course and make a decision that wasn't ours to begin with.

Abraham Lincoln showed the world that a momentous resolution can take time to develop and it can be exactly the thing not originally intended. His action to emancipate slaves took years to be determined. Lincoln, as Elizabeth Brown Prior points outs in her book titled Six Encounters With Lincoln (2017), "[He] was forced to evolve his thinking [on emancipation] over time, as facts proved his assumptions wrong and popular clamor made his [initial] policies [on emancipation] obsolete."

Historians have rationalized Lincoln's hesitation to free 19th Century slaves (Brown stakes claim to the idea that Lincoln never latched on to the idea of perfect equality among the races). The more common thread among biographers is that he was a cautious politician who looked upon extreme change as harmful to progress. Regardless of the "why" Lincoln waffled on matters as important as freeing slaves, a modern leader can look to Lincoln's change of heart and take solace knowing some decisions do take time to evolve and they may be contrary to what was first decided.

I am no Lincoln but can certainly relate to the way his mind thought through the bold idea of  emancipation. Like Lincoln, I was compelled to drastically shift my position on a complex matter even though I was introduced to strong opinions to which I was encouraged to prescribe (but rejected) from the outset. I'm referring to the topic of student misbehavior and discipline; it is a discussion into which my school district dove over one year ago from my writing this article. I fostered a conversation about discipline and the use of traditional and punitive responses to behavior problems (detention and suspension among the most common). Some believed a complete rollback of suspensions and a replacement program in their stead was the key to effective behavior change. I thought this idea was too bold (it takes me a while to carry out momentous action as I am more into the gradual and steady approach to promoting change). I also didn't see how doing something so drastic and likely so frowned upon by many would lead to improving the culture change I know is important for the health of the school district.

For a variety of reasons, including the wisdom that comes from experience and time, I am now understanding the opinion first laid out that could have me make the sweeping change I didn't think I would ever embrace- eliminating the use of suspension to punish students who misbehave. Perhaps I need to recognize that the evolution of thought, opinion, and decision-making is a natural and human process that we must fully accept and not perceive as weakness? It would serve me and other leaders well to heed Nietzsche's point that “The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.”

This post is part of my "Leadership Lessons From American Presidents" series.

The Graduation Speech that Brought Some Parents to Tears (Message to the Class of 2017)

Be happy.

And a key to happiness is not being so serious. Most of us are way too serious. Just loosen up a little and don’t worry about what somebody else has to say or think about you. I know that seems easier said than done, and I promise it is probably going to take time for you to feel confident enough for this to happen. But when you’re ready for it, it will be an amazing feeling- The idea that you can just be you and not take yourself too seriously because you don’t care what other people think about you. 

I’m not saying there aren’t times when you have to be serious by the way. And here comes a second key to being happy. There are some serious things we have to deal with. Some of us have health issues. Some of us have (or may have) money problems. Some of us have relationship problems with people around us or people we’d like to love. Some of us have problems with politics. I’m saying that we have to find a way to get outside of our problems because if we get too far sucked in, we’ll stay in an unhappy place.

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened” so said Mark Twain.

How many times have you thought about all the problems that may have happened but didn’t...that you thought were about to happen but didn’t...that you think will happen in the future but probably won’t? Listen to Twain- he thought about a great many troubles, but in the end, most of them never happened.

So just live in the moment. It's really hard not to think into the future or obsess about the past. I struggle with this every day. I think about the things I did wrong in my past. I think about the things that might go wrong in my future. Our thoughts can really control us if we let them. Half the time, the thoughts about our problems are just not real.

Stop and reflect- We don’t even realize when our mind is taking control of us with bad thoughts. It’s not until we get wrapped up in something we totally enjoy, like watching a great movie, going to an awesome concert, that we recognize how the negative energy in our head has control of us a lot of the time.

What were to happen if you simply said to yourself after tonight, “Hey- I’m not going to obsess about the past or the future; I’m just going to think a lot about the things around me, the people I’m with and the things I’m doing right now.”

I’m straight-talking about two keys to happiness here. First- Taking life too seriously leads to being a stressed out, scared, angry, boring human being in bad health. Second- Stop obsessing about the past and future because it will only drag you into a dark place out of which it will be hard to climb.

That’s what I have to share tonight. I really care about all of you so my message is coming to you from my heart. Just as much as independence, maturity, and kindness, so do I want you to come back to Highland Park High School to visit in the days ahead filled with happiness. That’s ultimately what I want from you. Don’t be so serious and enjoy life (without hurting anyone in the process).

Where and how you Meet With People Matters

Educational leaders have their share of meetings with support staff, teachers, and peer leaders. Where these meetings occur can set the tone for the discussion. Failures and successes when leading meetings have led me to realize the following:

1. Post observation conferences are best facilitated in a teacher's classroom. It's helpful to have a discussion about feedback in a "safe" environment. Student chairs, desks, and the teacher's classroom comforts foster a comfortable setting for what can sometimes be a challenging conversation.

2. Art and music rooms can promote open and engaging discussion. Pictures of artists and musicians on the walls, instruments laying on the floor, and large drawing benches for students can compel meeting participants to feel freer and more creative when brainstorming solutions to tough problems.

3. Where you sit matters. People performing at high developmental levels benefit from collaboration. Sitting side by side when providing evaluation feedback or sharing in the decision making process sends a visual message that you and the individual are professional partners. I am very careful not sit at the head of a conference table when managing meetings. I want participants to recognize me as one of the collaborators helping make the decisions.

Getting Past Those who Would Subvert- Focus on the Idea, not the Man

Leaders who mean well have nevertheless been forced to confront those who work against them for reasons of jealousy, spite, or zealous ambition. It's a difficult reality leaders must face- Some people just hope a leader will fail for the sake of failing.

Abraham Lincoln was confronted with tests to his leadership throughout his presidency. His treasury secretary, Salmon Chase, continually challenged Lincoln's capability and worked to subvert him from  the start to the finish of his cabinet career. Chase was known to have suffered from a lack of credibility among his friends and colleagues.¹ In the last months of 1862, he played a major role in precipitating crises that twice threatened the fragile stability of Lincoln’s cabinet as a result of his ambition and attempts to overcome the need to build his reputation.² He was, Goodwin points out in her acclaimed work, "Forever brooding on a station in life not yet reached" and Lincoln had the misfortune of having to manage his secretary's personal weaknesses despite the treasurer's great capabilities.³


Lincoln kept his attention on Chase's treasury initiatives despite the distractions his secretary threw at him, and sometimes contested these strategies if he felt they were wrong. Lincoln “[Focused] on the ideas [and] not the man” when dealing with Chase.⁴ Concentrating on his insecure cabinet secretary's professional work allowed Lincoln to rise above the pettiness of Chase's social-emotional foibles and keep the treasurer's agitation in check for three years during the height of the civil war. 

Educational leaders face the struggle against those who would see them fail. It would be wise to keep the fight about the ideas and not about the personalities at play. 

This post is part of my "Leadership Lessons From American Presidents" series.

1. The Lehrman Institute, Abraham Lincoln and Salmon P. Chase, Abraham Lincoln's Classroom.  Retrieved from http://www.abrahamlincolnsclassroom.org/abraham-lincolns-contemporaries/abraham-lincoln-and-salmon-p-chase/

2. Beard, R. (2014). The rise and fall (and rise) of Salmon P. Chase. The New York Times. Retrieved from http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/07/02/the-rise-and-fall-and-rise-of-salmon-p-chase/?_r=0

3. Goodwin, D.K. (2006). Team of rivals: The political genius of Abraham Lincoln. New York: Simon & Schuster.

4. Signer, M. (2015). Becoming Madison. New York: Public Affairs